imha
I have a lot of dear friends in all over the world, some of them are very dear to me.
Each time, I go to the airport, I get a sinking feeling. Not just for the fact that the journey from home to Changi Airport takes more an hour and half and it includes 3 change of the MRT, but also for the very fact that it is place where I have lost more people than gained them.
I remember when Anna left Singapore. I didn’t cry, I didn’t get to cry like Ying did. Not because I was inhuman, but because I was confident that I will meet her again…apparently not soon enough. Months and years after when I look back at things, either a memo, a postcard or a note between us, only then would I start feeling sad. It is moments that I am deeply saddened.
To me saying goodbye is not a sad moment, a sad moment to me is when reality sinks in and I realised that I don’t know when I will meet this person again.
On the surface, I think I exhibit a lot of sarcastic humour. To me, its a way to cope, cause deep inside I actually feel sad. Over the years, I tend to keep my group of friends small. As I recall, I have lost 11 very dear people over the past 5 years. Many left Singapore, and I don’t know where 9 of them are as of today. With each person I meet, I get a sinking feeling thinking would this be number 12th. Hence the impression that many have that I can be quite cold, cause at the back of my mind, I have a nagging feeling that I don’t think I can afford to lose another one.
This weekend, a friend visited Singapore and i realised the last time we met prior to this weekend was in Nov 2003. Today this friend is leaving.
I think I have wisened up, and I realised that I got sad even before goodbye is sad. Cause the truth is, I don’t know when we will meet again.
That’s why to all important people in my life, I always say “imha” which stands for In My Heart Always
Each time, I go to the airport, I get a sinking feeling. Not just for the fact that the journey from home to Changi Airport takes more an hour and half and it includes 3 change of the MRT, but also for the very fact that it is place where I have lost more people than gained them.
I remember when Anna left Singapore. I didn’t cry, I didn’t get to cry like Ying did. Not because I was inhuman, but because I was confident that I will meet her again…apparently not soon enough. Months and years after when I look back at things, either a memo, a postcard or a note between us, only then would I start feeling sad. It is moments that I am deeply saddened.
To me saying goodbye is not a sad moment, a sad moment to me is when reality sinks in and I realised that I don’t know when I will meet this person again.
On the surface, I think I exhibit a lot of sarcastic humour. To me, its a way to cope, cause deep inside I actually feel sad. Over the years, I tend to keep my group of friends small. As I recall, I have lost 11 very dear people over the past 5 years. Many left Singapore, and I don’t know where 9 of them are as of today. With each person I meet, I get a sinking feeling thinking would this be number 12th. Hence the impression that many have that I can be quite cold, cause at the back of my mind, I have a nagging feeling that I don’t think I can afford to lose another one.
This weekend, a friend visited Singapore and i realised the last time we met prior to this weekend was in Nov 2003. Today this friend is leaving.
I think I have wisened up, and I realised that I got sad even before goodbye is sad. Cause the truth is, I don’t know when we will meet again.
That’s why to all important people in my life, I always say “imha” which stands for In My Heart Always
6 Comments:
my sentiments exactly..it sucks saying Goodbye to people. Almost like a 'Bye, have a nice life!' thing. We should all just adopt the wonderful phrase, 'See you around' when people leave (whereever).
But the horrible-est feeling I get when saying Bye to people at the airport, is seeing them walk past the glass doors, beyond the immigration counter (on the way to DFS, no doubt). That feeling when you turn your back around, and make ur way to the bus station/mrt, and think about what you're gonna do next for the day. I Hate the way life seems to move on with a single snap. No closure, no nothing. All you can do is wait for the sms/email when your friend reaches town..and hoorah MSN.
'Goodbyes' at the airport is something i yearn for cos even when im supposed to be a close friend to someone, he just refused to let me send him off. No trip to the airport but just me on my bed staring at the dried purple flowers, remembering how fresh and preety it was when he first gave it. So shahrin, lucky indeed that you have had your goodbyes.
interesting point of view. no matter what, i would rather have the person still by my side then to have said goodbye and the person is no longer by my side.
how come u never see me off when i go sweden, never CRY also!!! tsk tsk
Just to let you know, you are imho
Take care dear friend. We should catch up.
- Carol from Belgium
its about time u update ur BLOG!
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